On a more personal level I can relate as the child of a Cancer father. What was it like growing up with such a man? I was that in love with him. I remember thinking perhaps he was perfect when very, very young. He was a minister, the father of his flock. He could be affectionate and even delicate. He helped me learn to paint figurines. All the tiny details he enjoyed with a pinpoint paint brush.
He liked pretty things. He was sentimental and never, ever said a harsh word about his own mother, who had dressed him as a girl with long curls when he was a boy making him the laughing-stock of the school yard. He never spoke a harsh word towards my mother either.
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Yet he had a dark and violent side that would erupt without any logical provocation. I lived in fear of that dark side.
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I witnessed him whip my brother unmercifully with his belt because he had evidently sassed our mother. I saw him take a tree branch to a little girl who was rather wild and bit people. This was when we were living in Detroit where a lot of poor people lived even long ago. He had an even darker side that eventually destroyed our family. Psychologically I have tried to understand it and heal myself of it all, but sadly he never did.
That macho shell of his projected all blame onto others and compartmentalized his primal shadow, hidden well from himself in his unconscious primitive reptilian brain. You see, our modern world has no real context for feeling types the way other cultures do. The United States is a Cancer nation. I have written many articles on the subject, and will continue to do so.
What has happened? Would it be a possibility that this is one huge defense mechanism designed to protect that soft, vulnerable inner core? In individuals it comes out as destructive criticism. In a nation it manifests as extreme bigotry towards any other nation who may have a different approach to social organization or philosophy. In the individual it can manifest through snippy little remarks, or veiled insults; all those little stings. Nonetheless, the Cancer can strike below the belt to demean, hurt, or goad someone else all the while thinking of themselves as kind, sympathetic, and understanding.
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This shadow side can be so incredibly ruthless, cruel, and cold. The other shadow aspect involves holding on to the past where emotional hurts and slights can build over time into deep resentments. This is actually true of all the water signs. Cancers want connection, yet connection without autonomy and objectivity can lead to subjective, conditional love.
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The antidote is to not fall into martyrdom. All Cancers need to learn to also nurture themselves. As they feed their own needs, and desires, the less resentment they will carry. This takes some self-reflection. It takes a willingness to shine the light of consciousness into those dark, basement places where feelings have been relegated and neglected for sometimes years.
Shadow work is often best done with the help of another, similar Cancer-type, who is capable of caring deeply enough to stick it through without judging or blame until the wounded child is healed. Ideally a bond of trust needs to be established first, and should that bond be broken it is extremely difficult to ever regain, for they are creatures of habit. The Archetypal Mother theme permeates everything for Cancers, so that the need to be needed, the need to be mothered or to mother plays an often unconscious role even in the bedroom.
A cool, self-sufficient type might better leave Cancer alone. Those with warmth and understanding hearts may find a dream come true in the arms of such a lover, for Cancer has a basic and instinctual repore with all emotions from pleasure to pain. There is, of course, a natural simpatico here where both have an instinctual understanding of the other.
Since both can shift and change according to inner moods and due to outer pressures the rhythms of life flow from one to the other like the currents of water, and are ever shifting and changing fluidly. Being at high seas through the storms of life, or finally in a safe and quiet harbor, Cancer with other watery types is quite at home. It could get highly co-dependent. What do you feel about this one?
Cancer with Scorpio Here a profound sensitivity to each other on both physical and psychological levels can create great harmony. Together, both are able to tap into deep subterranean water tables of feelings and share them both sexually, as well as emotionally. I did find two great examples from Hollywood, however, to validate that good unions are possible here. One aside is that both are born in the same year, , and thus true peers and both have Moon in Leo which for Cancer Hanks means a solid emotional repore.
He is sore and bruised all over yet directs her by pointing with his finger where she can gently and tenderly kiss him like a little boy, and then he proceeds to drop off to sleep mid-way. Harrison is now married to Scorpio Callista Flockhart, young enough to be his daughter. He obviously appears smitten by her in most photos and their energies definitely do refuel each other.
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Pisces, at its best, is compassionate and deeply understanding. Cancer will find potential peace and safety with such a person. Pisces gets nurtured and understood as well. Devotion can be deep here. Silent repore can be a boon. Like all combinations it depends on the level of consciousness of each individual and sometimes, if one or the other is too wounded the relationship can spiral into a watery whirlpool, a virtual dark hole.
Kurt was all water. An enormous grand trine in all the water signs. He had no Air planets to give him objectivity, nor Fire planets to ignite his will.
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He was entirely Yin and receptive. Courtney was and is more archetypally a Lolita, a child herself. Even today at 48 years, she still acts like a child. Theirs was a lethal combination and the whirlpool effect sucked Kurt down, down, down.
Cancer with Fire Fire is hot, dry, and light while Water is cold, wet, and heavy. A powerful Cancer type can certainly put Fire out cold, but on the other hand Fire can warm Cancer up given the right mix. It can be an excellent combination for creative collaboration, for playful enjoyments, and keeping spirits buoyed up rather than sinking down.
The volatile nature of the combination, however, is difficult to handle especially if one or the other is moving down and in or losing joie de vivre. Fire gets put out easily without more fire, so it helps if the Cancer type has something fiery to keep the potential passion ignited. We first saw this original imprint in Aries to Taurus where Spirit descends into Matter. In other words, Leo brings confidence into the picture.